The Influence of Family Trauma on Parenting: AIT Therapy
Sarah, a mother in her 30s with two young sons, came to therapy feeling anxious, confused, and frightened by her own reactions. She described becoming quickly overwhelmed by everyday parenting stressors—children moving too slowly, yelling in the car, refusing meals, or resisting bedtime. In those moments, her frustration escalated rapidly. She yelled words she later felt ashamed of, her body shaking as she struggled to restrain herself. These episodes were deeply distressing and sharply contrasted with how she saw herself: a loving, gentle, and responsible mother.
When intense, reactive behavior emerges suddenly and feels out of character, I look beyond the immediate circumstances to possible underlying trauma. While her children’s behavior might easily be labeled the “problem,” my clinical experience suggests that such reactions often stem from unresolved early childhood trauma and deeply held negative beliefs.
During our initial work, Sarah shared that her father struggled with alcoholism and was rigid, verbally abusive, and intermittently physically violent toward the family. Her mother was passive and emotionally needy. As a child, Sarah learned to seek safety and approval through perfectionism and academic success. She was never taught how to tolerate frustration, regulate anger, or feel internally safe. Healthy communication and limit-setting were absent.
Using AIT (Advanced Integrative Therapy), we first addressed beliefs that could interfere with healing, such as “I need to be perfect” and “It’s not safe to heal.” AIT works by engaging the body’s energy centers while holding traumatic memories or negative beliefs, allowing these patterns to transform and healthier beliefs to emerge.
We processed formative childhood experiences—such as memories of her father’s drunken rage—and then addressed how those unresolved emotions were being triggered by her children. Through the AIT Trauma Protocol and the 3-Step Transformation, Sarah was able to clear the connection between past trauma and present-day anger. Because AIT is gentle and accessible, she also learned to self-treat when early signs of irritation arose at home.
By the end of therapy, Sarah had a clearer understanding of her emotional responses and their origins. She developed new ways to calm herself, adjusted her expectations of her children, and practiced healthier limit-setting. Most importantly, she became more present and joyful in her parenting. These changes extended beyond her family life—she grew more patient, less reactive, and more compassionate toward herself and others.